My Blog

How do you survive the loss of a love?

[If you can’t open this, email me ronfkching@me.com]

Most times grief can be very complex and can have subtle and far reaching ramifications.

This past Easter triggered for me both painful and glad thoughts about my dad who died unnecessarily from an accident in the hospital in 1993.

My dog Poki euthanized this week awakened in myself and in many of you memories of lost loved ones. There’s a loss of time structure, I don’t need to change her bandages anymore, and I don’t need to go to that store that had the dog food she liked.

What about those who lose a loved one from a car bombing or from serving in a war, and how worse when one does not believe in that war or it was almost time to return home?

Or if you’re a child and your parents are killed in a tragic fire or you know they abandoned you? It can affect how you look at life and love and even make you and others crazy.

Or to lose someone that you discovered did some horrible things and was not worthy of your love.

Or to lose someone who blamed you for everything.

And there’s the lost of loved ones who suffered greatly or who caused you to suffer greatly.

Or when the loss is somehow always present, right in front of you as when memory is gone or it’s a downright messy divorce.

Or the love you lost was such a perfect love . . . .

Losing love is not easy. St. Paul said, “Love never fails...” but he didn’t add, “...to hurt, to tear us apart, to disappoint.”

Here’s one truth: Whenever someone leaves us, dies on us, betrays us, whatever —— we get handed our lives back. And that can be scary.

Who am I? What am I? Since I’m responsible for my own life and happiness, what do I do? What’s my direction, my purpose? How do I love me, or do I lose that love too?

I know, I know -- this is a heavy blog. But maybe we can learn from each other so even if you haven’t gotten it all together you can still Comment.